Navigating the Holidays in Recovery: Communication, Support & Staying Grounded

The holiday season can be joyful, warm, and full of connection, but for individuals in recovery, it can also bring unique challenges. Gatherings often involve alcohol, old triggers, and the pressure to “just be normal” around people who may not fully understand where you are on your sobriety journey.

In a recent episode of our podcast The Hanley Effect, hosts Chief Clinical Officer Dr. John Dyben and CEO Dr. Rachel Docekal explored what it really looks like to navigate Thanksgiving and the holidays while in recovery, especially for those who are newly sober. Their insights offer guidance, comfort, and practical strategies for both individuals in recovery and their loved ones.

Below, we break down the key takeaways to help you move through the season feeling grounded, empowered, and connected.

Why the Holidays Can Feel Hard in Recovery

Even in the best circumstances, holiday gatherings are emotionally loaded. You may be navigating:

• Family expectations
• Family drama
• Memories of past holidays involving substances
• Social pressure to drink
• Unstructured time and disrupted routines
• Loneliness or grief
• Anxiety about being “the sober one.”

The good news? You’re not alone; these experiences are shared. With proper preparation, communication, and support, the holidays can be not only manageable but meaningful.

Open Communication: The Most Important Tool You Have

Communicate with the people who care about you. Many people assume they know what will or won’t support someone in recovery, but the only real expert on your needs is you. Letting trusted people know where you’re at lets them show up for you in ways that align with your goals.

If you’re the person in recovery, you might say:

“I’m really looking forward to spending time together. I’m in early recovery right now, and I want to make sure I’m setting myself up for success. Here’s what would help me most at this gathering…”

You don’t need to share details you’re not comfortable sharing. Simple, direct communication is enough.

If you’re a loved one hosting someone in recovery you can say:

“We want you here, and we want to support your sobriety. We’re not sure what the right thing to do is. Would you prefer that we skip alcohol this year, or are you okay with it being present?”

That message, “we love you, we want you here, and we just want to know how to support you,” is powerful.

Prepare Before You Go: Have a Plan, Have a Support System

Preparation is one of the strongest predictors of success in early recovery.

Consider planning out:

• What time you’ll arrive and leave
• What you’ll say if someone offers you a drink
• Who you’ll call or text if you need support
• Whether you’ll bring your own non-alcoholic beverage
• What boundaries you might need (e.g., “I’m only staying for dessert.”)

Dealing With Peer Pressure or Pushy People

One of the hosts shares a relatable story about a colleague who pressure-poured wine into her glass even after she declined.

Situations like this can be incredibly uncomfortable.

Here are a few helpful responses:

• “No, thank you, I’m good with what I have.”
• “I don’t drink, but thank you.“
• “No.”

No is a complete sentence. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting your recovery. If someone continues, the problem is not you; it’s their discomfort, not your responsibility. Preparing for these moments ahead of time makes them easier to navigate.

Have a Wingman – Bring Support With You, Literally or Emotionally

Whether it’s a partner, a friend in recovery, or someone who knows how to step in when needed, a “wingman“ can make all the difference.

Sometimes support looks like:

• redirecting a conversation
• ordering your NA drink for you
• giving you the signal to step outside
• reminding you you’re not alone

If you don’t have someone physically present, consider:

• texting your sponsor before going in
• setting check-in times
• planning to step away and make a quick call if needed

Connection lightens the load. As Dr. Dyben beautifully said in the episode: “When struggles stay in your head, they get heavy. When you share them with someone else, they get lighter.”

Manage Expectations With Compassion

You might love your family deeply and still find the holidays hard.

You may want to attend the party, but leave early.

You might feel joy and sadness on the same day.

None of this means you’re doing anything wrong. It simply means you’re human.

Recovery is a process of growth, clarity, and learning. The holidays are just another chapter in that journey, not a test you have to pass.

For Loved Ones: Ask, Don’t Assume

Families often want to do the right thing, but may not be sure what that is.

Your role is not to be perfect. Your role is to be present.

If you’re supporting someone in recovery this season:

• Ask them how you can help.
• Don’t assume, just communicate.
• Be willing to make small adjustments.
• Offer a safe space if things get overwhelming.
• Let them know you want them there.

Instead of guessing what a person in recovery needs, ask them directly. A simple, loving conversation can reduce pressure for everyone.

Normalize Their Boundaries

If your loved one says:

• They’d prefer no alcohol present
• They plan to step out early
• They’re bringing a sober companion
• They need quiet time or breaks

Accept it without judgment. Love, acceptance, and understanding go a long way.

Create a Safe Environment

Sometimes recovery looks like celebrating differently this year, and that’s okay. What matters most is connection, acceptance, and fellowship.

That kind of sincerity creates the foundation for healing and belonging.

A Season of Support, Not Perfection

The holidays don’t have to be perfect. They don’t have to look the way they used to. What matters is staying connected to recovery, to community, and to the people who love you.

Whether you’re in early sobriety, long-term recovery, or supporting someone who is, remember:

• You deserve joy this season.
• You’re allowed to set boundaries.
• You’re allowed to ask for help.
• You belong at the table.

And if the holiday season feels overwhelming, you are not alone. Headwaters is here with compassion, expertise, and a community that understands.

Frequently Asked Questions About Navigating the Holidays in Recovery

Is it okay to skip holiday gatherings if I don’t feel comfortable?

Absolutely. Protecting your sobriety always comes first. You can choose smaller gatherings, create new traditions, or celebrate in ways that feel safe for you.

How do I handle being around alcohol for the first time in sobriety?

Plan ahead. Bring a support person, a non-alcoholic drink, and a way to leave early if needed. Talk to your sponsor or therapist before the event.

Should I tell my family I’m in recovery before going to holiday events?

If it feels safe, having an honest conversation ahead of time can relieve pressure and help your loved ones support you. You get to decide how much to share.

What do I say if someone pressures me to drink?

“No, thank you“ is enough. You do not owe an explanation. Practicing the moment in advance can build confidence.

What if I feel triggered or overwhelmed during an event?

Step outside, call a support person, take deep breaths, or leave early. You don’t need to push through discomfort to please others.

What if my family still decides to serve alcohol?

Protecting your sobriety comes first. Options include:

• Bringing a supportive friend
• Staying for a shorter time
• Driving yourself so you can leave anytime
• Choosing not to attend if it doesn’t feel safe

How can loved ones be supportive?

By asking directly what you need, honoring boundaries, and creating a welcoming environment free of pressure or judgment.

What if I need help right now?

Headwaters admissions specialists are available 24/7, call 561-270-1753.